I look around my beautiful home, think about our three boys, their private schools, vacations, housekeeping, etc and think what a strange situation to be in, having so much but living on the brink. I decide I really have to do something to help the situation. Cut costs? Seems extreme. Get a job? I haven't worked in 19 years and even then I wasn't exactly tearing it up. Over the years my skimpy job as a PR assistant has developed a sheen it never had in real life. Sometimes I start to believe my own glossed over history and think I'll just "go back" into PR. That starts an unpleasant chain of reality checks such as resume writing, calls to former employers, would they check my college GPA? With an uncomfortable shudder I quickly weigh other options. I could start my own business...except I have a hard time keeping things together as they are. Being self-employed implies paperwork, 1040 forms, estimated tax payments, people asking me when things are going to be done...I start to feel queasy.
As I sit sipping my coffee, my thoughts turn to my childhood fantasy of being an executive (industry unimportant) that wears high heels, possibly smokes...ok, ok no smoking, and is forever rushing off to take meetings. I would have a wonderfully gay assistant that would efficiently take care of all the confusing aspects of executive life and explain that my scattered-seeming behavior is part of what makes me so brilliantly successful. I half-heartedly wonder if those contraptions that sit on a desk so you can call your assistant in from the other room still exist.
With a reluctant sigh I drag myself back to the problem at hand and begin a list of all my strengths. After "sparkly personality" and "active imagination" I start to have trouble. One is always told to do what one loves and one is sure to be successful. What I love to do is read Georgette Heyer Regency romance novels. I wonder how that would translate into a paying job. I try to imagine it on a resume...or I could write a Romance Novel. I imagine locking myself away for weeks at a time, working on my novel with no one daring to ask me what's for dinner. My understanding husband and children would inform my wildly interested friends in hushed tones, "...no, she's unavailable, still working, may be weeks yet!" I'm sure what I finally emerged with would solve our financial problems and then some. I run to tell Beloved his worries are over. Beloved is not as relieved as I would have expected. He says, kindly for him, that everyone thinks they should be a writer, everyone thinks they have a story in them, it is often people with no other options and an inflated sense of their own talent (oops) that decide to write. "Okay, okay, I got it!" I shout. Then with the confidence of one with options quickly diminishing, I step over my 15 year old who has fallen to the floor helpless with laughter, and head to my office to get down to work.
Twenty minutes, two telephone calls and an organized shoe closet later I head to Peets for an extra foamy latte.
OK, this is the best one yet I think! I've never seen you wear the leopard? And, i have to say that office is divine....namaste
Posted by: Namaste | June 01, 2009 at 09:24 PM
I would love to see your handbags! You must have a nicely organized collection.
Posted by: Sara Sterling | June 03, 2009 at 12:10 PM
I just discovered that I could click on your photos for a larger view...love the larger views!
Posted by: Sara Sterling | June 03, 2009 at 12:12 PM
Just curious... how many matching animal jackets to you have in your closet?
Posted by: Hilary | June 04, 2009 at 10:53 PM
I know! I guess I'm an animal print type girl.
Posted by: TYFA | June 05, 2009 at 01:27 AM
Love your blog! I am a new devotee. Cheers, Marybeth
Posted by: Marybeth La Motte | June 05, 2009 at 04:53 PM
Hello there. I know what it is like to live with financial stress (in the pursuit of ones dreams). It's definitely not easy but the dreams are worthy -- don't cave to peer pressure around you in an effort to feel worthy and accepted in the rarified atmosphere you live in.
The great thing about financial stress is that it forces you to be crafty and entrepreneurial. Why don't you forget about what you feel skilled at doing, and volunteer at a place that would be a dream job and build some skills in a new direction? Or perhaps get a life coach to help you think things through and develop an action plan?
PS Your home is lovely.
Posted by: Maryam in Marrakech | June 06, 2009 at 02:50 AM
Thank you Maryam. That is good advice.
I love your blog. It is interesting, beautiful photos and my inspiration for blogging!
Posted by: TYFA | June 06, 2009 at 02:09 PM
Thank you namaste. I can't wait for you to see my office.
Posted by: TYFA | June 07, 2009 at 10:25 PM
Have you thought seriously about becoming a writer? You are very good!
Posted by: Sara Sterling | June 08, 2009 at 12:21 PM
So when do I get most of the items in your closet??
Posted by: zack9900 | September 04, 2009 at 10:23 AM
Perfection. This is exactly what writers do when faced with a blockage! Thank god for Peets. So enjoying your blog and had to start at the beginning
Posted by: Lynda | October 31, 2009 at 01:50 PM
Ummm, Did you stop reading your comments cause I never got a response from you....
Posted by: zack9900 | December 02, 2009 at 12:53 PM
Great articles and it's so helpful. I want to add your blog into my rrs reader but i can't find the rrs address. Would you please send your address to my email? Thanks a lot!
Posted by: Coach Handbags | February 23, 2010 at 03:19 AM
oh my gosh, girl, you are too funny. You ARE a writer. Plus, I love your office.
Posted by: Michele | February 24, 2010 at 12:17 PM
Hey, don't count yourself out until you try. You can always start with a short story too. Lots of romance authors have day jobs.
Posted by: Romance Novels | January 26, 2011 at 05:21 PM