“Would you like to
help the poor hungry children?” the sweet earnest young girl with a clipboard asks,
as I am rushing to get food for dinner at Cal Mart. “Er,
uh, why naturally I always want to
help the poor hungry children it’s just that, well, right now my children are at home, hungry, and after this Christmas maybe
even a little bit poor.” I can tell by
her less sweet expression that what is required is a yes or no answer. “No” seems a bit harsh in response to the poor
hungry children, so I try to explain that my husband recently started a new business
and funds aren’t as readily available as they used to be…what with this
economic climate and all…we actually have
a charity we actively support…all to
do with children…feeding them, educating them…my oldest son even tutors
them…you can’t believe the Christmas bonuses I forked out…my husband doesn’t
even take a salary! None of this is
having any effect whatsoever, and I feel like passerbys are starting to stare
in disapproval. Finally, I dig into my
wallet and take out bills one by one until she nods in approval.
Oh well, I think as
I walk on basking in the earnest girl’s approving gaze, it is for a good cause. I
certainly don’t want to be the reason some poor child goes hungry tonight! I stroll along lost in my reverie of moral
goodness when suddenly, out of nowhere, someone screams in my ear, “DO YOU OR
DO YOU NOT SUPPORT PROPOSITION 8!!”
“Holy Hell!!!” I scream, as I drop my wallet spilling coins all over the
sidewalk. Jesus! I can’t remember what the right answer
is! I start to panic. I seem to remember it is counter-intuitive,
but I don’t want to get this wrong! “um…I…am…against
it?” I say in a timid voice.
“EXCELLENT!” I feel weak with
relief. “If you really mean that” long
piercing stare “then I’m sure you won’t mind signing these.” “Oh…not at all” I say as I look at the thick
stack of papers thrust in my face. He
turns around so I can use his back as a desk.
I think about asking Poor-Hungry--Children girl if we can borrow her
clipboard, but Proposition 8 seems to be in a hurry.
Twenty minutes
later I am on my way again and am a-a-almost to Cal Mart. Outside there is a group of angelic looking
boys singing with the most beautiful voices.
Aahh, it is so nice to see boys doing something purely for the love of
it, I muse when out of nowhere leaps a mother (was she hiding behind the boys?)
with a clipboard (again!). Since you
obviously enjoy listening to my son’s singing for free, she says in a
very loud voice, do you think you can find your way to donating to the Golden
Gate Boys Choir! I feel as if I have
been caught running a sweat shop packed with underage children. I look frantically around to see if there is
anyone I know that may have witnessed my offense. “It was purely by accident that I was
listening” I protest, but apparently ignorance of the law is no excuse. “Yes, well that’s all fine and good but you
did benefit from the music, did you not?”
The boys are singing even louder and more beautifully and every one of
their eyes is on me. I sigh and take out
my wallet.
On my way home,
exhausted, mentally drained and with ground beef instead of steak, I decide to
stop off at Peets to get a much needed cappuccino. I place my order then notice the guy behind the counter is
staring pointedly at the tip jar that has a sign that reads, “If you appreciate
what we do please let us know with a tip.”
I do appreciate what they do that’s why I pay $2.85 for it...it's in a paper cup... The guy continues to stare at me. The people in line are waiting. Finally I throw a dollar in (I feel coins
would be crass) and decide tomorrow I will call Cal Mart and have my groceries
delivered.
Oh another belly laugh! Loved this one...hate shopping at Cal Mart! One time many years ago I accepted $10 in change that wasn't due me. I walked away feeling really, really guilty. Outside of the restaurant I was accosted by a homeless fellow and to relieve my feelings of shame and dishonesty, I gave the guy the 10 bucks figuring he needed it more than the establishment I had just left. I got about three blocks away and turned around to hear a policeman yelling after me, "Hey, Lady!" I was sure he was going to ask for the $10 I had just "stolen". He approached me and said, "sorry maaaammm but I thought you'd like this back". He handed me my 10 and said, "you really shouldn't feel obligated and pressured to give that guy so much money. He's out there everyday and intimidates the hell out of nice, honest citizens like you." Oh well I thought, I tried.....
Posted by: Angelica | January 12, 2010 at 02:34 PM
i walked into my local grocery store the other and was very secretly glad that the holiday season was over and done with...and the red bucket beggers were gone. how bad am i? to make up for it all - i just take car load after car load of stuff from my basement to donate. me giving is different somehow than them guilting me. maybe i have no heart.
Posted by: 1eyedmonkee | January 12, 2010 at 05:58 PM
every Sat morn this Fall, the Litchfield supermarket's entrance was blocked by middle school soccer teams raising $. why weren't they on the field at that time, if they love the sport so much? how many World Cup players are from suburban CT?
Posted by: NY girlfriend | January 15, 2010 at 08:41 PM
I love the line about the "sweat shop for underage children"!
Posted by: Sara Sterling | January 21, 2010 at 03:05 PM
Sounds like a good cause to me.
Posted by: E cig review | February 05, 2010 at 10:44 AM